April 7, 2011
I did say this was going to be a crazy week.
More to remind myself than anything else.
And it has been.
Sometimes, I hate being right.
Not often, mind you.
But sometimes.
Stephen's birthday was a lot of fun.
In fact, I may have had more fun than he did.
His first class is after my first class, and in the same room.
I made a giant Happy Birthday message all over the white board, complete with balloons, little sayings, etc.
And then covered it with the projector screen.
We often talk while his classroom fills up with students eager to learn the intracacies of criminological theory.
So my being there wasn't out of the ordinary.
And when everyone was settled in their seats, pens poised at the ready to take in the pearls of wisdom dropping from Stephen's mouth, he looked at me as if to say, "Are you staying for class?"
At which time I hit the button to lift the projector screen and reveal the birthday note underneath.
While his class and I sang him Happy Birthday.
Most fun!
Stephen almost seemed to enjoy it.
And that was just the beginning.
I think he knew that.
His second class wasn't until 4.00 pm.
After picking Em up from school, I scooted over to the nearest grocery store and bought the last slab cake and a chocolate cupcake piled high with icing and brownie chunks.
Along with candles.
LOTS of candles.
On the cake, I had Happy 50th Birthday written on top, by a most sourfaced and unfriendly bakery lady.
I thought bakery ladies were supposed to be friendly.
Nice.
Covered in flour.
Offering you free cookies.
But not this one.
Godzilla of The Bakery Ladies she was.
And it took her FOREVER to get the cupcake in its appointed container.
We dash back to the university, park where we aren't supposed to park and walk into the bottom floor of James Dunn Hall to surprise Stephen with the cupcake.
And there was Stephen.
Not in class where he was supposed to be.
But sitting on a table outside of his classroom as his students filled out the end-of-course-evaluation forms.
Or, as I like to refer to them, "The Shit on Your Prof" forms.
Luckily, the cake was in the car and the cupcake and candles in the bag.
Although he was somewhat suspicious.
In my usual quick witted manner, I covered myself well, explaining that I was there because I knew the class was about evaluations and exam review, so he would be finished early.
Em, meanwhile, has taken off upstairs to the cafeteria under the pretense of needing to use the bathroom.
"What's in the bag?" he asks.
"PLP's", I whisper.
Personal Lady Products.
THAT always shuts down conversations, particularly with men.
When he was informed by one of his students that the evaluations were complete, he kissed me and went back to his classroom.
But before he left we arranged to meet in the cafeteria when he was finished.
And then I went to find Em and set up our next birthday surprise.
Once the candle was safely tucked into the cupcake, we walked into the back door of the classroom.
An extended wall allowed us to go in without being seen, and we could hear Stephen's voice booming in the theater like classroom.
Great acoustics.
Which accounts for why, when he paused, I yelled out, "Hey Em! Does someone in the house have a birthday???????" and scared the daylights out of him.
And the class, apparently.
We walk out from behind the wall, singing Happy Birthday, carrying the candle topped confection.
He blew out the candle, giving me his "I knew you were up to something look."
And I stayed there until he ate each morsel.
While he munched, I continued outlining to the students what material would be covered on his final exam.
Em and I then made a hasty retreat because I had to get the cake into the little fridge in the crim lab and get back to the cafeteria to meet him when he finished class.
I made it back as students were leaving the class.
But no Stephen.
Clearly, telling someone you'll meet them is no guarantee that they'll actually stay there.
Eventually he remembered, and as we were leaving, Em remarked, "There's Stephen." who gets into the car and says he forgot I was meeting him and he hoped that was the end of the birthday surprises.
He really, really should know better by now.
Home for a VERY quick supper before leaving to go back to campus for my yoga and Stephen's night class.
Yoga was so relaxing.
And hard.
New poses requiring my body to move in ways it is not yet fully equipped to manage.
But I tried.
Because that's what counts.
After yoga, Em and I went to the mall to purchase Stephen's birthday gift.
The complete Vicar of Dibley dvd collection.
And then returned to campus to put together the last birthday surprise.
Candles on cake, lots of candles on cake as a matter of fact, with Em lighting them all in the stairwell by the classroom and both of us hoping we didn't set off any fire alarms.
A visit from the fire department to put out the blazing cake would have made for a memorable birthday.
Not to mention the flack from the university.
Stephen is in his classroom, with about 17 students, back to the door, when Em and I enter with a blazing cake and the entire class bursts into yet another singing of Happy Birthday.
Good thing too.
Because Stephen was showing a dvd he hadn't had time to preview.
Late Fragments: http://latefragment.com/
Nothing from the back of the dvd, the website. . .nothing gave any indication that inside the dvd was murder and full frontal nudity.
Both of which stunned my mild mannered, small "c" conservative husband.
I don't know what upset the students more.
The dvd.
Or that Stephen was showing the dvd.
I guess it was a good thing we came in with the cake when we did.
Who knows what else is on that dvd????
I'll let you know when I finish.
Title Lyric: Crazy Days by Adam Gregory
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