April 27, 2011
In spite of what you may think, I'm not a fan of conflict.
At the same time, I equally dislike lacking accountability.
Which means it's inevitable that there will be times when conflict occurs because of a lack of accountability.
Yesterday was one of those times.
Without divulging details that could potentially make my life very miserable, I had words yesterday with someone I work with regarding something they had asked me to do.
At the last minute.
And I did it.
Early on doing what I was doing, it was very apparent to me that it was going to take some time.
A lot of time.
Because the person who asked me to do what I was doing did not do what they were supposed to do.
And because this is academia, everything has a deadline.
So there was much pressure to do this and do it well.
I open my email yesterday, and find an email from this person, send Good Friday. . . .
. . . .because apparently I am expected to check my email on religious holidays, wish I had of received that memo. . . .
. . .informing me that the person who was originally supposed to do what I was doing had finally been contacted and therefore what I was doing wasn't necessary but thanks anyway.
Really.
Well.
You can imagine how I felt.
And in fairness to all involved, I broke a rule I have tried very hard not to break.
Emailing when I am angry.
I responded immediately.
I responded clearly.
Translation: blunt.
At no time did I use profanity.
But I laid out the issues as I saw them, in light of spending hours numbering in the double digits doing what this person should have done all along.
And I sent said email.
It only got worse from there.
Let's just say that when this person demanded to speak with me. . . .
. . . something I didn't want to do because I also try not to discuss things when I'm angry, preferring to let some time pass to allow calm to return at which time I am more than willing to talk about what's going on. . .
. . .things escalated.
Quickly.
Voices were not raised.
But things were said that, in spite of an hour and half of vigorous yoga last evening and much reflection, I am still very upset about.
Particularly, that this person, rather than accepting accountability for what they didn't do, chose to lay the responsibility at the feet of a student.
I believe that, above anything else, has me the most upset.
Why?
Because in my mind, in my opinion, it is just plain wrong.
Simple as that.
The day wasn't all bad, though.
Later in the afternoon, a student came by with something I had asked her to do for me.
Like most of us, this talented young woman is unsure about where her life is going, where it should be going. . .
But she is exceptional.
She will find her way.
Her talents, you ask?
Too numerous to mention here.
But one, her artistic abilities, caught my attention.
Artistic abilities that had stagnated a little.
So, I asked her to draw me a tattoo.
I've wanted a new tattoo for a long time. . it's been about ten years since I got my last one.
Stephen is not a fan.
But it is my body thank you very much.
And when I reach my goal weight, I am celebrating by getting a tattoo.
The one she drew for me.
A vine with four leaves, each leaf containing the name and birthdate of Stephen, Meredyth, Keith and Emily.
Took my breath away, it did, when I saw it for the first time.
When I'm longing for chocolate, or strawberry mousse cake from the Happy Baker, I am going to look at this tattoo as a reminder of what I am working for.
Today, I am hoping, will be a better day.
Granted, we are in for another day of rain, I have marking, marking, marking and more marking to do, grades to calculate for students anxious to graduate. . . .
But hopefully there will be no conflict.
At least at work.
At home?
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Title Lyric: The Conflict by The Ghost Inside
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