As long as I'm payin' the bills. . .I'm payin' the cost to be the boss. . .

November 24, 2010



To all appearances, the illness that had plagued our happy family had passed.

However, appearances are deceiving.

Em was mentioning last evening that her throat has been "scratchy" and she hasn't been feeling well the last couple of days.

Just what I wanted to hear.

Because there is nothing to prevent this virus from boomeranging.

Bouncing off Em and back to me.

Seeing how good my luck has been lately, I think this is a legitimate concern.







One of my favourite films is Cool Hand Luke (1967).

Paul Newman.

Enough said.

Within this marvel of movie mastery is the oft quoted line,

"What we have here is a failure to communicate."

This phrase captures my relationship with Mer entirely.

Cell phones have proved to be the bane of my existence.

Empirical evidence gleaned from past experiences has lead me to conclude that if I am involved in anything to do with cellphones, trouble is just around the corner.

JUST around the corner.

And this time is proving to be no different.

Because Mer and I, and Mer and the Telus guy who outlined our phone plans, had a collosal failure to communicate.

Mer is bright.

Intelligent.

Astute.

Except when it comes to accepting the limits of cell phone usage.

And understanding the financial repercussions of refusing to understand and accept those limits.

I am meandering through the appliance section of Sears last evening, patiently awaiting the arrival of our new microwave, when my cell phone rings.

Only four people ever call me on my cell phone.

Emily.

Keith.

Meredyth.

Mum.

So imagine my surprise when I answered my phone and none of the above were on the other end.

It was the faceless, yet gentle-voiced Lady-from-Telus.

Inquiring about payment of my bill.

I was confused.

Addled.

Astonished.

Baffled.

Perplexed.

Completely thrown off balance.

The bill had been paid.

I know.

I paid it.

But it would appear that I didn't pay enough.

I know exactly how much our family plan costs, taxes included.

So that is what I paid.

If I have any responsibility to shoulder, it was in not looking at the bill.

And just paying what I expected the balance to be.

Imagine that.

It would appear that my cell-phone crafty daughter, while knowing how to use a cell phone, incredibly well, is not concerned with little things that are critically important to cell phone usage.

Like knowing, accepting and practicing staying within the 200 daytime minute limit.

As elusive to Mer as understanding quadratic equations is for me. 

Drastic measures may have to be taken.

Removing said cell phone and holding it hostage until Mer learns the importance of staying with the boundaries.

An overall struggle for her, to be honest.

Cell phone daytime minute limits.

Means and money limits.

My patience and tolerance limits.

I know she'll get it.

Cause I'm going to make her.

Even if I must resort to drastic measures.

And I will.

I'm not afraid to take on the Kraken!





After a week of microwavelessness, we have been restored to our former microwave owner status.

Honestly, I didn't notice much of a difference without it.

Other than I had to remember to take something out of the freezer for dinner in order for it to thaw out.

In fact, I would have been fine to remain microwaveless.

People existed for millenia without microwaves.

They weren't introduced until 1967.

Before 1967, people cooked and thawed and warmed things up without relying on microwaves.

Unfortunately my family is unwilling to traverse back in time to learn to live with the presence of the always handy microwave nestled into the corner of our kitchen counter.

Waiting for Stephen to warm homemade soup, Keith to do something to hotdogs akin to cooking, Em to pop her popcorn in the anticipation of ketchup flavoured seasoning, Mer to heat whatever leftovers happen to be in our fridge waiting for to scarf them down.

So, while I was perfectly content to live without a microwave and just get my money back, I met with significant resistance. 

Meaning that now we have a new Panasonic microwave.

With snazzy blue neon numbers. 

Stephen likes the blue numbers. 

However, if we encounter any further microwave related issues, I have put my foot down and said that we will live without.

We can do it.

We will manage.

I will prevail.

I.

Always.

Do.



Title Lyric: Payin' the Cost to be the Boss by B.B.King